Only the toes knows...

Some things I just don’t get.

The other day I was watching the VH1 BACHLORETTE style show I LOVE NEW YORK 2 (don’t judge me), and there was a scene in which one of the contenders for her heart surprises Miss New York with a steamy bubble bath after a long day.

The scene is perfect, candles, rose petals, you can almost smell the warm soothing scented waters. In the tub is a quasi hunky type (nicknamed The Entertainer) in boxers there to help you relax and maybe wash your back. Mmmm sexy.

Miss New York is sipping champagne basking in luxury as The Entertainer is messaging her feet, and I think mmmm niiiccceee. Then he moves on to kiss the feet, lightly sucking on a toe at a time, and I think mmmm interesting.

Until The Entertainer picks up a foot and sticks all the toes in his mouth at once. EWWW... and the lady parts dry up completely.

I like to think that I am as sexually adventurous as the next girl... okay I do have my seriously freaky side, but all of your toes in someone’s mouth, I shudder at the thought.

How can that possibly feel good? It looked more like it would feel like stepping in something really unpleasant. Or is it an acquired taste.

Now I have it on good authority that a lot of people dig playing with feet and having their feet played with and there is nothing wrong with that.

And I confess to having fantasies of my own alpha male ravishing beginning at my feet and working his way slowly up my quivering body, as he torments me with kisses.

But after seeing the bad foot porn of New York and The Entertainer, I’m thinking that is one sensory indulgence I will pass on.